A weekend with Arnold

Part 1.

Ok, so I was invited to attend the Arnold Classic by one of our very good customers, Jan Tana. The thought of hanging out in Columbus, OH during the first week of March didn't excite me. One of the reason's I was happy to leave the midwest and move to Oregon was because of the weather. I know the winter's all too well there. But, Jan insisted I go. She wanted me to see her presentation and her team in action on the tradeshow floor. So I packed up and flew to Columbus, winter or not.

The Arnold Classic (www.arnoldclassic.com) is one of the largest sporting event / trade show/ extraveganza's in the world. Hosted by its namesake, Gov. Arnold Schwarznegger, the Classic featured everything from body building, weightlifting, to gymnasitcs, martial arts and archery. There was even a ping pong tournement and cheerleading competition! Of course they had the strongman competitions as well, where guys lift things like a giant hammer or hoist giant lead balls. A veritable who's who in health and fitness are roaming the halls people like 7-time Mr. Olympia Ronnie Coleman, Gold Medalist Gymnast Paul Hamm, UFC Fighting champ Dan "the Beast" Severn and many others famous athletes. The Governor himself was spotted in and around the booths at the show (in full CIA-esque escort) while others spotted the first lady of California Maria Shriver-Schwarzenegger.

Jan's company, which bears her name, www.jantana.com is a major show sponsor. She is also responsible for tanning the body building and fitness competitors for the big body building competitions. Her crew is a formidable selection of tanning and sales guru's led by the venerable Kevin McClain. Kevvy, as Jan calls him, is energy packed and finely tuned airbrush expert. This is a man you don't want to mess with... he's a perfectionist to the "enth" degree and I am certain that nobody on the planet knows as much about the Iwata HP-BE airbrush and Power Jet compressor as he does.

While Kevvy and his tanning gods are backstage addding the finishing touch to the body building mortals, Jan's sales crews are manning her booth where they're selling airbrush systems for tanning and for temporary tattoos along with Jan's other liquid tanning products. A dazzling and dynamic set of twins manned the front lines hawking Jan's liquid beauty products while Jan's niece is buzy managing money from mission command. Flanking either side of of tanning central are a body art / temp tattoo area and a full on seated massage parlor with two hip gals, with very strong hands, worked their craft all day, every day without a break. Jan also had a logistics specialist, Rebecca, who managed everything from show logistics to driving us to the various events and gala's we would be attending. Of course everything was directed and orchestrated under the watchful eye of Ms. Tana herself. Don't be fooled by her down-home charm and her sweet demeanor, she's a wonderful strategist and a public relations and marketing dynamo. To see her in action is like watching Kasporov play chess, she does it all with a sort of tactical grace and ease.

In my mind, the only thing missing from this cavalcade of capitalism was a really tall blond girl. Well sure enough walking the show, shaking hands and posing for pictures was Alexis Skye (www.alexisskye.com) she showed up, all 6' 4" of her (7 ft with her heals on)! Standing next to her made it worth the epic trip to Columbus through the sleet and snow.